Ahh.

So, I'm in the middle of an argument again. It's pretty stupid in my opinion, but I'm going along with it. Anywhoo, I'm in the middle of an argument, and I just decided to stop. Not stop arguing, but stop trying to please people. Like, F*** them. I get pissed off so often. I don't really show it, but I do. When I do show it, for one split second, something goes wrong. Apparently, I'm supposed to be this happy person. Nowadays it's the opposite. I sit here, and I'm fine. nothing is wrong. I'm enjoying my day. then outta nowhere BAM, depression. It's like I'm not expected to be in a good mood. I was in an excellent mood when I awakened this afternoon. I was talkative and everything. Now, I'm just as mad and sad as I was yesterday, and the day before. I want to be happy, but it seems like I can't. these little things didn't used to get to me so much, but now, life is really hitting me in the face, like life hit me so hard that the me in this metaphor died. I have no job, no future, no present. Maybe this is just the depression talking, but meh. I just don't seem to be able to shrug off the things I could before.

I hate opening up to people. Like, I try to be all nice and stuff, for awhile. eventually, someone would have to meet the true me. Everytime some does, he just seems to get mad at me all the time. I'm always mad. I don't care how happy I am. WIth that happiness, i'm mad. I can be both happy and mad at the same time. I can be mad and mad at the same time. Usually i'm happy and mad. It's just how I am. So, when somebody does something to annoy me, it adds to my mad and subtracts from my happy. I'm just an angry person at heart.

I hate when people complain about things that are in their control. Like when people say their life sucks, then they can make it unsuck. and if it's too late, then it's probably their fault that their life sucks in the first place. Or, say that somebody started smoking and drinking and stuff, but now they can't quit. They blame the drugs instead of themselves. Ah! but I do seem to hate when people put too much blame on themselves, like I usually do.

I wonder if anyone actually know what a blog is. Like it actually is a weblog. A log on the web, or blog for short. haha that almost sounded like a dictionary definition.

I wacthed family guy for the first time in awhile the other day. That s*** was tooooooo funny. lmfao lmfao lolololl lmaoooo hahahaha. Peter is hilarious.


I just remembered, when yvette told me that people wonder what I'm thinking. Why the hell would someone want to know what I'm thinking? lmfaooo I actually kinda want someone to answer that haha.

I was just told that someone couldn't react to me the way that they wanted to, because they don't know how I'll react. I wonder if I scare people. Or do I like, Idk, uh change people I guess? not really what I was looking for. Uhm.. do I idk maaannn. dang. I just wonder if people react to me differently, because... scratch that... I just wonder why people react to me differently than others. I mean obviously, because it's me, but like what about me.

I'm about to go watch some TV.