Meh.

I get so F***ing tired of things sometimes. Like if I were to just sit there and think about some things, and how they end, I would be extremely mad. I don't even know why. I'm supposed to be living this great life and whatnot. Nothing is wrong, but nothing is right. It's kinda just there, which is good I guess. I mean, who wants to be dead? hmm... bad question lol. anyway, I feel like I'm not really good at anything right now. Maybe smash, but I even feel like I suck at that. I got 33rd out of 51 at my last tournament, meaning I beat one single person in a set. I lost to a scrub and someone decent that I know I could have beaten. I get so upset when I lose to people that aren't really better than I am. I was just thinking about how much effort I put into that game, and how i still lose to mediocre players. I play people and I can read them, but there isn't a single thing I can do about it. When it all comes down to it, I realize that the character I play is holding me back. I can't get around stupid stuff, because I don't have a way around it. I should be able it punish mistakes but i can't. I just sit there and get hit by the same stuff over and over again. It's sooooo F***ing frustrating. Like, dude wtf? you aren't even outplaying me, you're just spamming s*** that I can't get around. I should be better than this. I should be getting close to top 8 at these tournaments and I'm not, because some stupid B**** will pick a character and just press the same button over and over again, then I lose. I shouldn't have to deal with that S*** and I don't. I really shouldn't be complaining, because I can switch characters, but I don't want to. I shouldn't have to switch just because of some Bull*** in the game. whatever. I'll just get better and hopefully i'll learn to get around this stuff.

I also realize that I get tired of people, if I don't see them. Like, I don't know what the problem is, but I just stop really caring after awhile. Like Edem for example. I really can not put my finger on it, but I really don't care about him at the moment. I could easily see me not talking to him ever again, and not caring. He's not the only person that I view like this. There are plenty of people i see in my life now that I would not give eight F***s if they weren't there anymore. Most of them already seem like they aren't.

I'm poor. I need a job. I can't do alot of the things I want to do, because I have no money. If I were to have a job, htne I would have money. Sadly, I seem to fail at getting hired. Maybe, I should just ask more places for applications. I'm bound to get hired eventually.

I'm on the phone right now, if I want to call it that. I don't even have the phone to my ear. It's kinda just sitting around me, just in case a word is spoken. Anywhoo, as I'm sitting here, I began to wonder, "Why the H*** am i sitting here?". Like, Dude I don't even go with this girl anymore, and I'm still on the phone not saying anything at all.

Lately, more and more people have been calling me depressed. Now, I've been called depressed for years, but like it hasn't been as prevalent as it is now. It's like everyday somebody asks me why I look so depressed, including people I never met in my life. I didn't actually start feeling depressed until like a month or two ago. It's gotten to the point where I would call someone, and their mother would ask why I SOUND depressed.

I have a sleeping problem. That S*** always comes back to haunt me every now and then. I told myself I wouldn't fall into a bad sleeping habit this summer, but I did. It kinda sucks, because I usually want to do stuff during the day, but I wake up too late.

I hate when people talk about me. Like, not even negatively. Like just if someone were talking about me to someone else, it would just piss me off. I don't know why though. It's just kinda annoying to me. Like dude. Wth are you talking about me?

The other day, I realized that if I'm talking to someone, as rare as that may be, I have to know where they are. I don't exactly know why, but I have to know where the person is. It's pretty weird.

I guess I'm done for now. blah blah blah. Yaaaaaa.