Bottle.

If...
I were to use any noun to decribe my self, Bottle would be the noun. A tightly sealed bottle to be exact" not even letting air inside. probably why i'm asthmetic haha. Not a bottle full of a beverage of any type; just a bottle full of thoughts. The most recurring thought being: What if i did 'this'?". I'm not that big of a bottle. somewhere around 8 oz. So every now and then i tend to explode. i can only keep so much inside me. With more and more thoughts coming to me, i'm bound to explode if i keep in all my thoughts.
Today, from the time that i awakened, i have had quite a few thoughts that have bothered me today. To stop my self from exploding i release a few. where? anywhere. on paper, here, when i'm talking to people; wherever i can find that satisfies me. once enough is out i stop. i think i'll do them here today.

first thought since i awakened was, "If i could do last summer over again, what would i do differently?"

It's actually a pretty basic answer. I wouldn't go back with yvette. That would change everything, which is exactly what i want. i wouldn't go back to never cheating on her. that's boring. if i get a chance to go back and all i do is do something that will probably have the same result, what fun would that be? the thing is: i do not know how things would be if i did not go back with yvette and tell the world i cheated on her. and that is what i wonder...

second thought.
why the hell is Yvette going to the movies wih Tashauna?

Maybe I missed something here, but i'm pretty sure Tashauna is the girl that i pretty much went out of my way to please, WHILE GOING WITH YVETTE. Now, i'm all for people being friendly, but really? how smart does that look. oh i'm just going to go to the movies with the person my BF cheated on me with on multiple occasions. We're trying to be friends. lmfaaaooooo. makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Besides Nothing can happen between Tashauna and me. We stopped caring about each other last year. hahahahahaha. Good luck trying to keep her away from me and vice versa. It's not like we're going to see/talk each other ever again. of course not she'll just go with you somewhere that i happen to go and we'll ignore each other the whole time. even when you aren't around lmfaaooo.

third.
does she really want to be friends with everyone?
Like really. wtf happened to "idc about anyone. f*** you. f*** you and f*** you too."? seems like she threw that out the window and decided to try and befriend EVERYBODY. eh whatever floats your boat.

next.
well it's just a realization, but... idk wtf yvette is.

Well i was sitting in the car pulling up to ihop and realized that... she's pretty much a combination of every single person i know. like seriously... i can go down the list of people she can be. i'm not going to, but i can. I just remembered how last summer she reminded me so much of nataki. Now it's a combo of sua, miles, and aja. oh and a little bit of Nataki. Once i even thought "hey tashauna used to say that to me on the phone".I was really this [.] close to saying that she reminded me of tashauna, but... let's not go down that road lol. She had an orignal moment and i forgot what it was. something that only she does and she got it from herself and not anyone else.... crap i forgot, but i did have it. I guess it comes from her not knowing what she wants to be.

blaaaaahhhhhhh.
best thought ever lol.


I opened my bottle just a little... HOW THE F*** is rainman this genius.? lol
daaannngggg s*** is ridiculous.

ohhhh forgot one.
Do i do things for me or for others?
it originally was does she blah blah blah, but i chenged it, because i wondered it about myself. Like... this blog for example. is it really for me to release my thoughts to prevent explosions, or is it just for other people to see what i'm thinking. i never seem to knkow my intentions when i do something, unless it's a joke or I want to find out info. other times i'm confused on why i do some of the things i do.


had another one. i forrghggooottoytfhnsdrgethv;l6dexcghbjoijuyhreioiuyhjgfswiiuytfrejouytrfsdeedcgvfh. forgot.

--------------------------------------------------------------
so like... I read Nat's blog and I feel as though i should retract my statement about yvette. well one of them lol. I guess i do know her. It's easier to say she,s constantly making additions to herself, instead of saying i don't know her. That's ridiculous. Everything else still stands.