^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
My facebook password lol
i never blogged yesterdayyyy.
well at least i never finished. brittany's party was teh sex like i thought it would be. I thought more people would show and I could tell she was a little disappointed with the turnout. There was only five people there; six including her, instead of the supposed to be like 10 - 15. alot of people bailed adn didn't show. waaacckkk. it was maaaaddd fun. the dog was being stupid at the end. i had lots of food and it was just cool stuffz. haha we suck at rock band lmaaaooo. "We got four people on the drum kit and we're still failing". It was nice seeing squid and kwuan after such a long time. I thought i would never see them again. haha Squid forgot my theme song. ya. it was cool. today is pretty cool as well. it's easter. I thought of something in church like i usually do, but i forgot it lol. Was supposed to get my suit, but the stores are like closed. Prom is saturday and idk what i'm wearing. wait... ya i do lol. yvette doesn't. ahh. ya read some more of this book. it doesn't really appeal to me. School starts in two daysssss. ahhhhhhhhhhhh lol. well ya guess i better get going.
8!
eighth blog.
oh craaaapppp forgot some stuff that happened yesterday. first thing being I had my first dream in like months that didn't habe Tashauna in it. meehhhh usually i like to leave ambiguity for my readers, but this is one of the times where i can't do that. when i said her not being in one of my dreams. i meant as a friend, and STRICTLY a friend. Even by saying that i'm sure someone will think something of it. make a big deal or whatnot. she's not even the main focus. she likes disappears after while. it seems like the dreams are before the whole mess happened last year. The disappearances are also pretty awkward. maybe i'm longing for the past? or do i just want to be friends again? who knows? that doesn't even seem possible under today's circumstances. AND!...
i used a towel yesterday for the first time in like ever lol. For those who don't know, [which is pretty much everyone] i usually don't use towels when i get out the shower. i usually just put on my robe and dry myself in front of my heater. haha au naturale. i think that's how it's spelled. actually i don't think that's how it's spelled lol. ya the whole towel thing seemed so monumental to me. what elseee? i remembered this part like three hours later than my original post lmao. more is sure to come. ok not sure, but it's possible.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
almost eight
Title means it's almost my eighth blog.
yaayyyuhhhzzzzz.
i feel like a n00b compared to dav who has like fricken 100.
anywhoo. this is going to be an ongoing blog. like i'll type things as they happen.
i wake up to this crap. some odd way miles just so happened to find my blogspot. Yvette is mad because i wondered why she wanteed to be friends with someone that i'll obviously have to start communicating, though she doesn't want me communicating with her. for all that i could just start talking to her now. and, to top it all off, it's raining. why is miles telling me not to look at his blog like i've read any of them? what bothers me is that he mysteriously found my blog. how did that happen? meh i'll ask, though i'm pretty sure i know the answer. so she asks me if i regret going back with her. like huh? does that even sound like it makes sense. maybe i just didn't make my last blog clear enough. lmfao, so i was right on how he found it. should make another blogspot. i found out that somethings i do are actually for myself and this is one of them. I'm getting slightly annoyed by the fact that i'm getting questioned about things that i already said. i always wondered who i am. like everyone sees me in a completely different way than i do. My parents think i'm some gifted genius that could have done anything with his life that he wanted. others see that --- pause. haha i got the from B.G. so... some odd way. i keep getting the same thing of i regret going back with her. WHAT...THE...FUCK... like are you kidding me? that doesn't even sound like it makes sense. i'm pretty sure i said i would like to see how different things would be. hth is that = i regret going back with you?
if i were to read what i wrote, then i would be ok with it. i'm not understanding it. So... i'm guessing the whole "if i could do it all over again, i wouldn't go back with yvette" thing is the only thing people pay attention to. i'm pretty sure i explained why afterwards. shit is beginning to piss me off. so she goes off and writes this huge a blog about things that i wondered? i can't wonder now. lol geez just kill me now if that's the case. the funniest thing is... it's a blog about a misinterpretation and a question with my reasoning as to why i see it as being an iffy idea. One thing i noticed is... people seemed to she, in particular, only seemed to focus on the first two things i said. like what about the rest of it? you're not going to question me about anything else. this is bullshit. makes no sense to me at all. maybe if somebody said something different then i could see it making sense. --- too. like really what do people see in me? My teachers, my parents, my peers. It is like I open up their eyes. like one math teacher, K-wizzle of 3-point-1-4 lmao, he once said "sometimes i look at you and i see something different" idk wtf that meant. it was clear to me that he saw something in me that he doesn't see in others. sua once told me that i was her inpiration to be herself. miles said that he wouldn't be him if it weren't for me. I... don't get it. i'm just a kid. well a young adult now lol. most of you will never see me again after high school. man... fucking people. another thing. do... people really think that I didn't have to make a choice. ok so apparently there is this stigma going around that when you cheat it doens't hurt you. hold up... what? dude are you serious? let's think about this. you love two people. you have to pick ONE. this decisions isn't going to hurt. of course not it only decides your future relationship between one of them. it can't hurt. >_> dumbasses. omg marcus you hurt me so much. i fucking hurt myself. maybe people forget that i had to choose. it's because i did the wrong thing that it can't hurt me. Then i get some dumb shit like it hurt so much. i know how it feels.
The thing that bothers me the most of out anything is that this blog had so much of an effect. My thoughts... not actions... not an intention.... just something i wondered caused all this controversy.
Miles... i don't know your blogspot lmao
it's kind of hard to read something i can't see lol.
hopefully brittany's party is teh sexxoorrrrzzzz.
lighten up my day a bit.
yaayyyuhhhzzzzz.
i feel like a n00b compared to dav who has like fricken 100.
anywhoo. this is going to be an ongoing blog. like i'll type things as they happen.
i wake up to this crap. some odd way miles just so happened to find my blogspot. Yvette is mad because i wondered why she wanteed to be friends with someone that i'll obviously have to start communicating, though she doesn't want me communicating with her. for all that i could just start talking to her now. and, to top it all off, it's raining. why is miles telling me not to look at his blog like i've read any of them? what bothers me is that he mysteriously found my blog. how did that happen? meh i'll ask, though i'm pretty sure i know the answer. so she asks me if i regret going back with her. like huh? does that even sound like it makes sense. maybe i just didn't make my last blog clear enough. lmfao, so i was right on how he found it. should make another blogspot. i found out that somethings i do are actually for myself and this is one of them. I'm getting slightly annoyed by the fact that i'm getting questioned about things that i already said. i always wondered who i am. like everyone sees me in a completely different way than i do. My parents think i'm some gifted genius that could have done anything with his life that he wanted. others see that --- pause. haha i got the from B.G. so... some odd way. i keep getting the same thing of i regret going back with her. WHAT...THE...FUCK... like are you kidding me? that doesn't even sound like it makes sense. i'm pretty sure i said i would like to see how different things would be. hth is that = i regret going back with you?
if i were to read what i wrote, then i would be ok with it. i'm not understanding it. So... i'm guessing the whole "if i could do it all over again, i wouldn't go back with yvette" thing is the only thing people pay attention to. i'm pretty sure i explained why afterwards. shit is beginning to piss me off. so she goes off and writes this huge a blog about things that i wondered? i can't wonder now. lol geez just kill me now if that's the case. the funniest thing is... it's a blog about a misinterpretation and a question with my reasoning as to why i see it as being an iffy idea. One thing i noticed is... people seemed to she, in particular, only seemed to focus on the first two things i said. like what about the rest of it? you're not going to question me about anything else. this is bullshit. makes no sense to me at all. maybe if somebody said something different then i could see it making sense. --- too. like really what do people see in me? My teachers, my parents, my peers. It is like I open up their eyes. like one math teacher, K-wizzle of 3-point-1-4 lmao, he once said "sometimes i look at you and i see something different" idk wtf that meant. it was clear to me that he saw something in me that he doesn't see in others. sua once told me that i was her inpiration to be herself. miles said that he wouldn't be him if it weren't for me. I... don't get it. i'm just a kid. well a young adult now lol. most of you will never see me again after high school. man... fucking people. another thing. do... people really think that I didn't have to make a choice. ok so apparently there is this stigma going around that when you cheat it doens't hurt you. hold up... what? dude are you serious? let's think about this. you love two people. you have to pick ONE. this decisions isn't going to hurt. of course not it only decides your future relationship between one of them. it can't hurt. >_> dumbasses. omg marcus you hurt me so much. i fucking hurt myself. maybe people forget that i had to choose. it's because i did the wrong thing that it can't hurt me. Then i get some dumb shit like it hurt so much. i know how it feels.
The thing that bothers me the most of out anything is that this blog had so much of an effect. My thoughts... not actions... not an intention.... just something i wondered caused all this controversy.
Miles... i don't know your blogspot lmao
it's kind of hard to read something i can't see lol.
hopefully brittany's party is teh sexxoorrrrzzzz.
lighten up my day a bit.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Bottle.
If...
I were to use any noun to decribe my self, Bottle would be the noun. A tightly sealed bottle to be exact" not even letting air inside. probably why i'm asthmetic haha. Not a bottle full of a beverage of any type; just a bottle full of thoughts. The most recurring thought being: What if i did 'this'?". I'm not that big of a bottle. somewhere around 8 oz. So every now and then i tend to explode. i can only keep so much inside me. With more and more thoughts coming to me, i'm bound to explode if i keep in all my thoughts.
Today, from the time that i awakened, i have had quite a few thoughts that have bothered me today. To stop my self from exploding i release a few. where? anywhere. on paper, here, when i'm talking to people; wherever i can find that satisfies me. once enough is out i stop. i think i'll do them here today.
first thought since i awakened was, "If i could do last summer over again, what would i do differently?"
It's actually a pretty basic answer. I wouldn't go back with yvette. That would change everything, which is exactly what i want. i wouldn't go back to never cheating on her. that's boring. if i get a chance to go back and all i do is do something that will probably have the same result, what fun would that be? the thing is: i do not know how things would be if i did not go back with yvette and tell the world i cheated on her. and that is what i wonder...
second thought.
why the hell is Yvette going to the movies wih Tashauna?
Maybe I missed something here, but i'm pretty sure Tashauna is the girl that i pretty much went out of my way to please, WHILE GOING WITH YVETTE. Now, i'm all for people being friendly, but really? how smart does that look. oh i'm just going to go to the movies with the person my BF cheated on me with on multiple occasions. We're trying to be friends. lmfaaaooooo. makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Besides Nothing can happen between Tashauna and me. We stopped caring about each other last year. hahahahahaha. Good luck trying to keep her away from me and vice versa. It's not like we're going to see/talk each other ever again. of course not she'll just go with you somewhere that i happen to go and we'll ignore each other the whole time. even when you aren't around lmfaaooo.
third.
does she really want to be friends with everyone?
Like really. wtf happened to "idc about anyone. f*** you. f*** you and f*** you too."? seems like she threw that out the window and decided to try and befriend EVERYBODY. eh whatever floats your boat.
next.
well it's just a realization, but... idk wtf yvette is.
Well i was sitting in the car pulling up to ihop and realized that... she's pretty much a combination of every single person i know. like seriously... i can go down the list of people she can be. i'm not going to, but i can. I just remembered how last summer she reminded me so much of nataki. Now it's a combo of sua, miles, and aja. oh and a little bit of Nataki. Once i even thought "hey tashauna used to say that to me on the phone".I was really this [.] close to saying that she reminded me of tashauna, but... let's not go down that road lol. She had an orignal moment and i forgot what it was. something that only she does and she got it from herself and not anyone else.... crap i forgot, but i did have it. I guess it comes from her not knowing what she wants to be.
blaaaaahhhhhhh.
best thought ever lol.
I opened my bottle just a little... HOW THE F*** is rainman this genius.? lol
daaannngggg s*** is ridiculous.
ohhhh forgot one.
Do i do things for me or for others?
it originally was does she blah blah blah, but i chenged it, because i wondered it about myself. Like... this blog for example. is it really for me to release my thoughts to prevent explosions, or is it just for other people to see what i'm thinking. i never seem to knkow my intentions when i do something, unless it's a joke or I want to find out info. other times i'm confused on why i do some of the things i do.
had another one. i forrghggooottoytfhnsdrgethv;l6dexcghbjoijuyhreioiuyhjgfswiiuytfrejouytrfsdeedcgvfh. forgot.
--------------------------------------------------------------
so like... I read Nat's blog and I feel as though i should retract my statement about yvette. well one of them lol. I guess i do know her. It's easier to say she,s constantly making additions to herself, instead of saying i don't know her. That's ridiculous. Everything else still stands.
I were to use any noun to decribe my self, Bottle would be the noun. A tightly sealed bottle to be exact" not even letting air inside. probably why i'm asthmetic haha. Not a bottle full of a beverage of any type; just a bottle full of thoughts. The most recurring thought being: What if i did 'this'?". I'm not that big of a bottle. somewhere around 8 oz. So every now and then i tend to explode. i can only keep so much inside me. With more and more thoughts coming to me, i'm bound to explode if i keep in all my thoughts.
Today, from the time that i awakened, i have had quite a few thoughts that have bothered me today. To stop my self from exploding i release a few. where? anywhere. on paper, here, when i'm talking to people; wherever i can find that satisfies me. once enough is out i stop. i think i'll do them here today.
first thought since i awakened was, "If i could do last summer over again, what would i do differently?"
It's actually a pretty basic answer. I wouldn't go back with yvette. That would change everything, which is exactly what i want. i wouldn't go back to never cheating on her. that's boring. if i get a chance to go back and all i do is do something that will probably have the same result, what fun would that be? the thing is: i do not know how things would be if i did not go back with yvette and tell the world i cheated on her. and that is what i wonder...
second thought.
why the hell is Yvette going to the movies wih Tashauna?
Maybe I missed something here, but i'm pretty sure Tashauna is the girl that i pretty much went out of my way to please, WHILE GOING WITH YVETTE. Now, i'm all for people being friendly, but really? how smart does that look. oh i'm just going to go to the movies with the person my BF cheated on me with on multiple occasions. We're trying to be friends. lmfaaaooooo. makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Besides Nothing can happen between Tashauna and me. We stopped caring about each other last year. hahahahahaha. Good luck trying to keep her away from me and vice versa. It's not like we're going to see/talk each other ever again. of course not she'll just go with you somewhere that i happen to go and we'll ignore each other the whole time. even when you aren't around lmfaaooo.
third.
does she really want to be friends with everyone?
Like really. wtf happened to "idc about anyone. f*** you. f*** you and f*** you too."? seems like she threw that out the window and decided to try and befriend EVERYBODY. eh whatever floats your boat.
next.
well it's just a realization, but... idk wtf yvette is.
Well i was sitting in the car pulling up to ihop and realized that... she's pretty much a combination of every single person i know. like seriously... i can go down the list of people she can be. i'm not going to, but i can. I just remembered how last summer she reminded me so much of nataki. Now it's a combo of sua, miles, and aja. oh and a little bit of Nataki. Once i even thought "hey tashauna used to say that to me on the phone".I was really this [.] close to saying that she reminded me of tashauna, but... let's not go down that road lol. She had an orignal moment and i forgot what it was. something that only she does and she got it from herself and not anyone else.... crap i forgot, but i did have it. I guess it comes from her not knowing what she wants to be.
blaaaaahhhhhhh.
best thought ever lol.
I opened my bottle just a little... HOW THE F*** is rainman this genius.? lol
daaannngggg s*** is ridiculous.
ohhhh forgot one.
Do i do things for me or for others?
it originally was does she blah blah blah, but i chenged it, because i wondered it about myself. Like... this blog for example. is it really for me to release my thoughts to prevent explosions, or is it just for other people to see what i'm thinking. i never seem to knkow my intentions when i do something, unless it's a joke or I want to find out info. other times i'm confused on why i do some of the things i do.
had another one. i forrghggooottoytfhnsdrgethv;l6dexcghbjoijuyhreioiuyhjgfswiiuytfrejouytrfsdeedcgvfh. forgot.
--------------------------------------------------------------
so like... I read Nat's blog and I feel as though i should retract my statement about yvette. well one of them lol. I guess i do know her. It's easier to say she,s constantly making additions to herself, instead of saying i don't know her. That's ridiculous. Everything else still stands.
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